Blog-Faith-Aug11,2006

Have you ever even heard of Gibsonton? It’s a little town near Tampa where DVJ Kriel actually grew up (I found out the ‘v’ is for video). He took me there with him today.

‘Gibtown’, as the locals call it, is where circus and carnival workers and performers live in the winter when the shows aren’t touring.

It’s basically a strange little town on the highway where you can see rusty carnival equipment and old cotton candy and corn dog stands just sitting in people’s driveways like old antiquated vehicles. There’s random circus memorabilia strewn all around the town. I got some really good pictures. For a photographer, this place is a goldmine. I’ll try to post them as soon as I can. The locals were really nice for the most part, although they are definitely sick of being photographed and the place really has definitely seen better days.

("Huston the Illusionist" video - see transcription below)

The place has a bizarre vibe. The houses, cars, painted murals: everything is just a little bit decrepit, rusty and forgotten. Charles grew up there as a kid and talking to him about his childhood made me think a lot about my own life. He was telling me how he never had a real home when he was young because he was always travelling with the show. He and his dad were always on the road, on the move and he had to start working when he was really young because everyone had to contribute to the community environment of the show camp.

("DVJ Charles Kriel" video - see transcription below)

Charles said he feels that he grew up faster than regular kids. I can relate to that. Living with Gary and Joy I felt like I was walking on glass all the time. Even when I was really little I could sense that they thought I was creepy or weird or something. For the most part I tried to hide my symbols and my thoughts from them. Isn’t that sort of awful for a child to be made to feel ashamed like that without knowing why? Other children are mean, but adults can’t show that, especially to five year olds. When I escaped from Bethlehem, I was on the run constantly. We’d just hop on trains or hitch moving around a lot. There was no constant. I realize that this is just another things that sets me apart from other kids my age. I acknowledge that about myself and I’ve accepted it.

You guys in Seattle were a really big help to me. Your support has meant a lot and you’re all so crazy. I don’t look half as loony when I’m hanging out with you guys, right Oz! I’ll see you all again soon, I know it!

So back in Gibtown, Charles took me to this great local bar, The Showtown USA which is all covered in these amazing murals of carnival and circus life.

Charles introduced me to his friend, Madam Steph who’s a fortune teller. Apparently she really helped guide Charles to run away from the circus after he pretty much died at a party near Tampa one night (wild story –another time). I hope she can help me too.

("Kriel introduces Madam Steph" video - see transcription below)

I was kind of nervous to meet her. I think that’s because she’s a fortune teller and I’ve always had this dark ominous feeling about the future and who really wants a disaster confirmed by a professional? On the other hand because Charles’ experience with her was so positive I had this expectation that she would help me solve my problems. Maybe it’s stupid, but I had this feeling that I would get some answer or clue that would help me figure out who I am and where I’m from.

Madam Steph did a tarot card reading on me, and one of the first things she mentioned is that there is no such thing as coincidences. I agree with her on that. She said that this journey that I’m on is important not just for me but for the world. It sounds strange but when I met her, and from some of the things she knew about me I realize that she actually could be looking through a window I can’t see through. I just wish she’s spelled it out more clearly, I guess it never happens like that though, my visions aren’t exactly explainable either. She left me with a strange story, weird people and a journey that seems big and impossible for me alone.

("Madam Steph reads my cards" video - see transcription below)

I feel extremely frustrated. This is not quite what I expected. What does she mean? I do tattoos that no one has even seen, how could that be important to the world? Maybe it’s the sort of routine she does on people in Gibtown to cheer them up. It’s all a little overwhelming to me right now, I need some time to think about it.

("Madam Steph’s reading points to places & people" video - see transcription below)

It definitely frustrates me that all she seemed to provide me with were more questions. But there was one thing that I can’t help but notice and it’s a big deal to me. When she was reading the tarot cards, my brain, mind, head whatever felt like it had never felt before. Instead of being consumed with thoughts of pain the symbols were like small beams of light, creating a feeling that rushed all through me, it was nice. It was the first time in my entire life that these symbols seemed almost harmless. I am inclined, for that reason more than any other to listen to Madam Steph and take her reading very seriously. She mentioned a ton of weird information about people and places. Does anyone have any idea what any of these things mean? Oh yeah, I didn’t have any nightmares last night either. I slept so well.

So I guess I won’t be coming home for a while longer. The journey doesn’t end here after all. I’m excited, cautious.